One of the wonders of the Torah
is its timelessness. Every year there are always new insights I find. I've been
thinking a lot recently about parenting. I think raising children to follow in our ways is the key to the future of Judaism.
When I was reading the Torah portion
this week I was struck by a difficult Rashi to understand. Yaakov is preparing
to meet Esav when the text lists his 2 wives, his two maidservants and his
eleven children. Rashi notes that someone is missing - Yaakov’s daughter Dinah.
(Binyamin was not born yet so Yaakov had 12 children, 11 sons and one
daughter).
Rashi cites a Midrash from
Bereshit Rabbah. “But where was Dinah? Yaakov had put her into a chest and
locked her in, so that Esav should not set eyes on her. Therefore, Yaakov was
punished for withholding her from his brother, perhaps she would cause him to
improve his ways and she fell into the hands of Shechem.”
In other words because Dinah was
hidden from Esav a much worse fate befell Dinah- she was raped by Shechem as a
punishment for Yaakov.
Just a bit of background after Yaakov survives meeting Esav the family go to Shechem. Then this happens.
"Dinah, the daughter of Leah,
whom she had borne to Yaakov, went out to look about among the daughters of the
land. And Shechem
the son of Hamor, the Hivvite, the prince of the land, saw her, and he took
her, lay with her, and violated her."
This Midrash is difficult to
understand. Didn’t Yaakov do the natural thing of protecting his daughter from
potential harm? isn’t that what all parents should try and do? I mean who would
ever want someone like Esav as a son in law!
As parents we
want what’s best for our children and we try to protect and shelter them from
the dangers in the world. However, sometimes we can protect our children so
well from the dangers that we see that when they go out in the world by
themselves they have no idea how to live.
I like to
explain the Midrash as a metaphor. When we put our children in a box like
Yaakov did with Dinah we do not give our children the tools to survive in the
world.
Let's take this one
step further with the recently published Pew Report on the current trends of American Jewry. If we don’t give our
children the Jewish skills when they are young it is no surprise when our children do
not follow the path that we would like them to take when they go off to
college. We must protect them in their youth by teaching the centrality of
Judaism to their everyday lives. If we can do that then they won’t throw away
Judaism as young adults and they will be able to evade the Shechem’s in this
world.
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