How Does Conversion Work and How Should We Treat Potential Converts?

How does a person convert to Orthodox Judaism and how should we treat people in our community who wish to convert to Judaism? To what extent should we welcome them/discourage them? 

These are not easy questions and I don't believe that there is only one way to address them. However, I do understand that they are questions that members in our community talk about and would like direction on. First and foremost, we should treat every human being with total respect and kindness as each person whether they choose to convert to Judaism or not are created in God's image and we are morally obligated to treat them with sensitivity and kindness. 

To what extent should we welcome people in to our community who wish to convert? That is a hard one to answer. We have a tradition of discouraging potential converts at the early stages. We need to point out to them (not that it isn't obvious) that being Jewish isn't easy. Apart from the myriad of laws to keep, throughout history Antisemitism has been the hardest thing for us Jews to live with. Whether that Antisemitism is openly displayed or whether it is done in a more veiled manner. 

Secondly, we should try and turn them down when they show a desire or interest in conversion. My style has always been to be polite but at the same time not too engaging until the individual, couple or family has proven themselves that they are in this for the long haul. Once that has been established I will decide whether I will take on a candidate for sponsoring. I will do thorough background checks on individuals as it is important to know who you are about to invest so much time in to. Then I will review with them just how difficult it is to convert and how much will be expected of them. Converting to Judaism is not just passing a few courses in college, rather it is a complete transformation of the individual which requires great dedication and commitment. 

When I have accepted candidates, I will invite them to my house for Shabbat meals. Once I have decided that they are ready, I ask a few other community members to invite them for Shabbat meals. When I get a sense that a candidate is ready, I will bring them to the Vaad for the first time. Being ready is a loose term but basically the fundamental prerequisites would be living in the community, keeping Shabbat (while breaking Shabbat once) and keeping kosher. Then the Rabbis will ask questions of the candidate. If they are satisfied the candidate will be accepted as an official candidate of the Vaad. 

Once a candidate is accepted by the Vaad, the candidates can send their children to the Jewish schools, at that stage I will let the hospitality committee know that such candidates can be invited by the broader community for Shabbat and Yom Tov meals.

I remember last Pesach, being surprised when I was trying to organize meals for people in the conversion program that certain families would not entertain such candidates because they had not converted yet. The families were referring to a halacha that only Jews can be invited for Yom Tov meals. While it is true that a convert only becomes halachically Jewish at the end of the process, they require firsthand knowledge of Jewish practice. One cannot read about a Seder rather one must experience it to know what it really feels like. This position is supported by many Rabbis today, although it should be noted that other Rabbis hold a more strict application of the halakha. 

I noted above that a potential convert is not allowed to keep Shabbat 100%. They must break Shabbat once. That is because Shabbat is a special mitzvah just for the Jewish People. It is a special sign between God and us. However, since candidates will one day keep Shabbat fully, we do not wish them to be accustomed to breaking Shabbat many times. So they do something to break Shabbat just once. In the case where Shabbat needs to broken and there is a potential candidate available, they can be asked to assist. However, we cannot and must not treat potential gerim as non-Jews who are there to be Shabbat Goyim. Known colloquially as a Shabbas goy. If one knows that they need assistance on Shabbat to do prohibited work, they must make arrangements before Shabbat with a non-Jew and not someone who is in the process of converting.

There are many books and subjects that a potential convert needs to study. They need to know the fundamentals of keeping a kosher home, the laws of Shabbat and Yom Tov, Family purity laws, knowledge of the Holidays and a degree of fluency of Hebrew reading. However, as I have said earlier, it isn't just about passing courses. There needs to be understanding of the sponsoring rabbi and the other Rabbis of the Vaad that such a candidate is ready. As such conversion times vary from case to case. But roughly it should take around two years for most candidates to complete an Orthodox conversion.

Admitting When You're Wrong and Winning With Class

I've been thinking over the last couple of days about blogging. So far my blog has reached a large number of readers from a wide range of backgrounds. I don't spend too much time thinking about the blogs before I write them, I either answer someone's question to the best of my ability or I blog about something going on at that moment. I'm quite proud of how the blog has gone so far but it also puts a little pressure on. When I cover a topic I can't leave people with the wrong conclusions. 

For example, a couple of weeks ago I blogged about tzitzit. I thought it was a clearly articulated article explaining the basic ins and outs of the garment. However, I think I left out one important concept. Not do I need to wear tzitzit but should I wear tzitzit. Technically men only need to wear tzitzit if they are wearing a four cornered garment but the spirit of the mitzvah and the way today religious Jewish men all over the world act is to always wear tzitzit and that is something that men should be trying to do and something that their sons should be encouraged to do so. 

I'm the first person to say and I want to state this publicly if you are uncomfortable about a sermon I've said, a shiur I've given or a blog or article I've written please tell me, call me or send me an email. I'm not perfect and I make mistakes, if you have something constructive to say please let me know and together we can move forward.

I was caught up all last week with the build up to the Super Bowl and I wasn't disappointed last night! What a result, although for the neutrals it might have been disappointing not to see a closer game. I've been caught up in the spirit of the city. This wasn't just for the Seahawks, this was for the whole of Seattle. People who never watch football were glued to their TVs, surrounded by friends and family willing their team on.

I was so pleased to see that after this game, there was no trash talking from the players. The Broncos didn't play well and the Seahawk players were courteous and said nothing about it. There was no repeat of Richard Sherman calling out Michael Crabtree. This time the Seahawks got the message. Sherman actually took the time to praise Peyton Manning. Sherman realized what he did two weeks ago was wrong. He understood that it's more important to win graciously than anything else. That was Sherman's redemptive moment. He won and he knew he didn't need to degrade the other team. They felt awful already.

When I went on facebook last night there were so many posts all about the Hawks. Everyone was so elated! But a few hours later I started seeing posts poking fun of the Broncos players especially about Peyton Manning choking on the biggest stage once again. I thought it really missed the opportunity. Being happy with our collective success in Seattle should be enough. There is never a need to feel success by making fun of another person, team, town or country. Last night we won with class, we shouldn't ruin it by talking about other things.

My this be the first of many Super bowls! May we show the world how to win with class! Go Hawks!

Thoughts on Celebrating New Year and Sylvester Day

A lot of people have been asking me, "Is it ok to celebrate New Year and go to New Year parties?" and  "Why in Israel is the secular New Year called Sylvester Day?"

Well let's start with the origins of New Year celebrations. According to Wikipedia The Romans dedicated this day to Janus, the god of gates, doors, and beginnings. The month of January was named after Janus, who had two faces, one looking forward and the other looking backward. This suggests that New Year’s celebrations are founded on pagan traditions. 

In 46 BCE the Roman Emperor Julius Caesar made adjustments to the Roman calendar, including beginning the new year on January 1 rather than in March. In practical terms, all cultures celebrate the new year according to their particular calendar and the Romans were no different. When the Roman Empire became the Holy Roman Empire under Constantine, at his mother Helena's behest, the Christian world carried on the custom of celebrating the Roman new year.

Later it became a date in the Gregorian calendar of Christendom, New Year's Day liturgically marked the Feast of the Brit of Jesus. Note That January 1st is exactly 8 days after December 25th. For hundreds of years the Catholic Church celebrated New Year as a religious holiday. The Rema writes that New Year’s day is a Christian Holiday indeed it is clear that it is the eighth day of Christmas as much as New Year’s day whose celebration must be avoided and can only be marked when long term life threatening hatred to our community will result if gifts are not given. (See Darche Moshe Y.D. 148) 

Origins of Sylvester Day

In many European countries this day was named after Saint Sylvester (314-335 CE). Christianity grew under his rule and it is believed that he died on December 31. There is nothing remotely Jewish about "Sylvester Day." So why is it celebrated in Israel? Israeli society flows according to the Jewish calendar. Schools and businesses are closed on Shabbat, and the whole country shuts down on Jewish holidays like Yom Kippur. For that reason the secular/Christian new year has little significance. Yet when some ultra-secularists discovered that most of the world holds a "New Years party," they didn't want to feel left out. Yet they couldn't call it "New Years" because that title was already taken by Rosh Hashana. So the name Sylvester was adopted instead. However according to Rochel Sylvetsky, Sylvester was always a night of fear for Jews with many pogroms taking place. Similar to what happened on Christmas Eve.

But, despite the origins of New Years, today seems to be very different. There is no real sense

of it being a religious holiday at all. Over the last 300 years it has become completely secularized to the point that even religious Christians do not celebrate the date as a religious holiday at all and it might well have lost its status as a religious holiday. Rav Moshe Feinstein notes (Iggerot Moshe Even HaEzer 2:13) that the first day of the year for them is not prohibited according to law, but pious people should be strict.

So despite the Pagan and Christian origins of New Year, today there is no hint of those origins in the current practices an celebrations. Therefore it would be permitted to celebrate albeit taking care with how one conducts him/herself. Personally I don't celebrate New Year but that might have more to do with me being boring rather than a transgression of Jewish Law!

For more information on this see Rabbi Broyde's article in full.